Film Review: Christine (1983)

I’m one of the many who watches more spooky things in the month of October. I get in the odd mood for horror, but usually I watch the bulk of them in October. I’ve also been trying to watch more classic movies just in general. I’d heard about Christine before, and I know of John Carpenter’s other films, but I never got around to this one. I also didn’t realise it was by Stephen King until after, so that’s a fail on my part. For anyone who’s a fan of vintage cars and classic horror, this one is definitely worth a go.

Some spoilers herein

The film follows Arnie, a high-schooler who is frequently bullied. He’s best friends with Dennis and the pair of them face off against the bullies together. Arnie and his mum have a complicated relationship that only worsens when he impulsively decides to buy ‘Christine’, a vintage 1958 Plymouth Fury. Little does anyone know – except the seller – that the car has a dark history.

Arnie fixes Christine up and soon the car is in pristine condition, but Arnie starts to change as time progresses. He starts getting more confident, bolder. He also starts getting meaner and more violent. Any word against his car sets him off. Things only worsen when he starts to date Leigh. Christine seems almost … jealous. (Yep.)

After Leigh almost dies, she blames Christine and parts ways with Arnie, who won’t hear a word about it. Leigh turns to Dennis, who’s also starting to have his concerns about the car, and the pair decide they have to do something about it.

The soundtrack in this film was excellent, so that has to be mentioned first. Old horror really had a knack for those soundtracks. The CGI is fantastic – I was really impressed by the car fixing itself scenes – and the film relies on soundtrack, atmosphere and surprise more than loud screams, like so many others.

My one biggest nitpick is the standing in the centre of the road. There are WAY TOO MANY scenes where the characters could go literally in any other direction and yet they do not move out of the car’s path. One scene in particular keeps panning out from Leigh as she just … stands there, staring at the car, not moving. For. Ages. Gurl, I get that you’re scared, but move out of the fucking way! Oh my gosh. My partner and I kept looking from the screen, to each other, to the screen, to each other, and still Leigh did not move. It made no sense. Why wouldn’t you move?! The car isn’t even barrelling at her. It’s literally creeping towards her and she watches it. All I could think of is that scene in How I Met Your Mother where Barney is learning how to drive and doesn’t turn the wheel. (Also that scene in Bob’s Burgers where Tina’s learning to drive, but now I’m just wildly off topic …)

That said, overall it’s a really solid film and I’m definitely going to try and watch more John Carpenter soon.

Also, Dennis stole this whole movie. Four for you, Dennis. You go, Dennis!

Short Film Reviews: Toy Story of Terror! (2013) & Toy Story That Time Forgot (2014)

One of my favourite movies this year was Toy Story 4 and I was super bummed that there weren’t any more in the series to watch. Imagine my delight when I stumbled across the shorts!

Toy Story of Terror! is a Hallowe’en tale where our favourite group of toys are watching a horror movie in the boot of the car. The tyre pops and Bonnie’s mum is forced to divert to a motel for the night. Pricklepants is convinced that they’re walking into a horror movie and spooks everyone as things start to unfold in line with his predictions. When Jessie disappears, Buzz and Woody lead the charge to find her, and high jinks ensue!

Toy Story That Time Forgot is centred around Bonnie’s trip to her friend Mason’s house at Christmas time. When Bonnie and Mason ditch the toys for video games, they’re left to fend for themselves amongst Mason’s toys, who have never been played with and don’t know they’re toys.

I was really impressed that these short films were just as good as the movies. The comedy is perfect and the storylines are short and sweet. I totally recommend both. They’re seriously good fun and I laughed the whole way through!

Film Review: Venom (2018)

I wanted a movie that was going to cheer me up and I’m so glad I picked Venom. It’s honestly the funniest movie I’ve seen in a while and probably one of the best superhero movies I’ve ever seen. I only realised after I watched it that it didn’t get great reviews – well, SILLINESS. IGNORE THE BAD REVIEWS, THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME SAUCE AND A KETTLE OF FUN. Tom Hardy is good in literally everything (Virgin Queen, Peaky Blinders, The Dark Knight Rises, etc.) but as I don’t keep up with movies at all, I had no idea Michelle Williams and Riz Ahmed were in it too! Great casting, great movie.

The film follows Eddie, a reporter who wants to hold bad guys accountable for their crimes and doesn’t hold back on his opinions of their awfulness. Unfortunately, being a good reporter and a good person doesn’t sit well with his bootlicker boss, and Eddie gets fired when he goes after a corrupt scientist, Carlton Drake, and asks him about the cover-ups of his company. To Eddie’s horror, the move also gets his fiancée Anne fired, too. Furious, Anne breaks up with him, and in one day Eddie loses his job, his love, his apartment and his cat. Poor, poor Eddie. 😥

Drake’s experiments continue when his company uncovers an alien ‘symbiote’ and tries to match it with various human hosts. Horrified by his methods, one of his scientists seeks out Eddie to expose the truth. Unfortunately, everything goes wrong, and the symbiote gets inside Eddie.

Cue, DRAMA AND ACTION.

Venom, the alien symbiote, is hilarious. (And he takes deep personal offence to being called a ‘parasite’ FYI.) He and Eddie are basically a sarcastic duo fused together. Like if Jekyll and Hyde could talk to each other and liked each other, but were constantly duking it out. I giggled throughout their ensuing escapades, fending off bad guys and trying to sort out their shenanigans of being stuck together. Eddie tries to keep Venom good, Venom struggles with listening, but he likes Eddie and comes around to the idea of fighting for the good side. Plus, Venom’s commentary of how awesome Eddie’s ex is, is so funny.

10/10, totes recommend, ignore the bad reviews, this movie is a m a z i n g.

Film Review: Cellular (2004)

I remember watching Cellular waaaaaaaaaay back when it first came out. I think I was like eleven or something at the time. It’s been a while! But I do remember liking it, and when it popped up on my Netflix, I decided to rewatch it. And you know? It’s a pretty decent action movie and the actors really make it fun. It’s got Kim Basinger, Chris Evans, William H. Macy and Jason Statham.

The film definitely couldn’t have been done today (like Phone Booth, anyone remember that one? Also written by the same guy, as it happens) as there’s a lot of old tech glitches that are long since avoidable – like being on the phone and getting your lines crossed with someone else in a car nearby. Ahhh, the old days of mobile phones!

The plot is fairly straight forward: a woman, Jessica, is kidnapped and manages to use a broken rotary phone to dial an unknown number. The guy on the other end, Ryan, picks up, she asks him for help. Ryan at first thinks she’s joking, but he’s convinced to go to the police station where he encounters Mooney, a cop ready to retire and start his day spa with his wife. Mooney directs Ryan upstairs, but at the same time, Jessica learns that the kidnappers are going after her son. With few choices and no way of calling Jessica back if the signal dies, Ryan decides to get her son first. And so begins the chase!

Chris Evans is great in this, and I really liked William H. Macy’s comedy. Kim Basinger is a badass, too! Honestly, the whole cast are great. For a good action film, I totally suggest this one.

Film Review: The Old Guard (2020)

Give me diverse superheroes, she begged; give me gay superheroes, she pleaded. AND THE OLD GUARD DELIVERED ‘EM IN SPADES. AW, YUUUUUUUUUS. Firstly, what a cast: Charlize Theron, KiKi Layne, Matthias Schoenaerts, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli, Harry Melling, Van Veronica Ngo and Chiwetel Ejiofor. So you already know it’s going to be amazing. AND IT IS.

I didn’t have much context for The Old Guard before starting it. I only found out it was based on a graphic novel when the credits rolled. So that’s really cool. I’m definitely curious about the novel now. But the film is top notch.

The Old Guard is about four ‘immortals’ who, largely, can’t be killed. But there’s a limit to it. At some point, their time is up. But the years have left them jaded and lonely. Their families have long passed and they can’t get close to anyone outside of their group because it always ends in bitterness and tears and blame. Amongst the group are Andromache of Scythia, nicknamed Andy, centuries old and hardened with cynicism; Sebastian Le Livre, known as Booker, who once served under Napoleon; Yusuf Al-Kaysani, known as Joe, who served in the Crusades; and Niccolò di Genova, known as Nicky, an Italian Crusader from the same time. Joe and Nicky were enemies during the Crusades but are now partners and their romance is the absolute best. Let me just share this with ye:

He’s not my boyfriend. This man is more to me than you can dream. He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness and warmth when I shiver in cold and his kiss still thrills me, even after a millennia. His heart overflows with the kindness of which this world is not worthy of. I love this man beyond measure and reason. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s all and he’s more.

(Watch the scene here.)

Give me a movie of just Joe and Nicky, please and thank you! Joe and Nicky talking about how they met in the Crusades was great and we need more of them. Perfect, fabulous super boyfriends. A+ ADDITION TO THE GENRE, LADS.

After Andy, Booker, Joe and Nicky are set up, they take up a revenge mission against Copley, the man who betrayed them. Halfway there, however, they share a dream about Nile, a Marine who’s just like them. Not wanting to abandon one of their own, Andy goes for Nile while the other three head on to find Copley and his benefactor.

So much about this movie hit me harder than I expected. It isn’t a happy superhero film by any means. The focus is heavy on the price of immortality and all the downsides. Booker’s backstory was especially sad and I really felt for him. I’m also interested in more on the relationship between Andy and Quynh, so I’m desperate for a second film where that’s explored. Quynh is an immortal from before the events of the movie, so you only get snippets of where she went and why, and I want more! That whole storyline messed me up. Honestly, every character was fascinating and there isn’t a moment of the film where you’re not desperate to find out more.

For anyone else who’s been waiting years for an inclusive superhero film, get on this one asap!

Film Review: What If (2013)

I’m very picky when it comes to romantic comedies. I often feel like, if the main characters had a very simple conversation (or simply broke up), their lives would be much easier. But there are a few with wonderfully charming storylines and incredibly likeable characters. What If (aka The F Word) is one of them.

Set (and filmed on location) in Toronto, What If follows Wallace after his girlfriend cheats on him and he breaks up with her and drops out of med school. One night at a party, he meets Chantry and they have great chats and end up walking each other home. As they’re parting, Chantry tells him that she’s got a boyfriend. Disappointed, Wallace decides not to hang out with her again. A few nights later, however, they meet at a showing for The Princess Bride and decide to become friends properly. Chantry’s also cousins with Wallace’s best friend Allan, who’s embarking in a new, wild relationship with carefree Nicole. They’re a seriously charming secondary couple and are one of the highlights of a very funny movie! There’s a lot of improvising of lines so the jokes come naturally and don’t feel like they’re just there for cheap laughs.

Problems arise when Chantry introduces Wallace to her boyfriend Ben, who immediately assumes Wallace is trying to sleep with her leading to a wild night that puts Ben in hospital. (No, there’s no fist fight; yes, it’s hilarious, but I won’t spoil you!) Shortly thereafter, Ben moves to Dublin for work (also filmed on location!), leaving Chantry feeling lonely and needing a distraction from her heartache. She spends more and more time with Wallace, Allan and Nicole, but as Allan and Nicole’s relationship progresses, so do things between Wallace and Chantry as the feelings on both sides become complicated by a deep friendship neither wants to lose.

I really adore this movie. Daniel Radcliffe is at his comedy best, but Adam Driver is a true gem! Zoe Kazan and Mackenzie Davis are so great as well. Honestly, the central four are just perfectly cast. The one-liners are brilliant and the comedy isn’t tired. It’s a very, very refreshing romantic comedy and I wholeheartedly recommend it!

Film Review: Isoken (2017)

I honestly think one of the best aspects of Netflix is being able to see films from other countries that you wouldn’t otherwise have access to. It’s led me to Indian, Korean, Italian, Spanish, French, German (etc) films and shows that are just so wonderful but have never been widely available in the country I’m in until Netflix made it so. (Yay Netflix!)

Today I watched a wonderful Nigerian film, Isoken, and now I’m going to be digging through all the offerings to see what other Nigerian films are on offer in my region! This one was great! It follows 34 year old Isoken in her search for love and meaning in her life whilst everyone around her is trying to push her towards marriage. She meets two men at the same time: one seemingly the perfect marriage candidate, yet the other one increasingly draws her attention.

If you’re looking for a sweet, uplifting movie about love, I definitely recommend this one!

Film Review: Mudbound (2017)

Mudbound is an intense historical film set in the deep south of the United States after WWII. The central characters are members of two families, the McAllens and the Jacksons. It’s also based on a book.

The opening scene is very striking. It begins with Henry and Jamie, two brothers in Mississippi digging a grave for their father. They realise it’s a slave’s grave halfway through, but a storm presses them on even as Henry protests. Jamie, who doesn’t care, continues. The rain worsens and Jamie gets stuck in the grave and begins to panic, screaming for his brother. It’s very clear from the get go that Jamie suffers from PTSD. Henry returns and pulls his brother out, with Jamie, hysterical, telling him he thought Henry would leave. To which Henry promises that he’d never do that, they’re brothers. It’s a moment that really underscores the relationship between the two. The fear, the doubt, the love that binds them together.

The scene then shifts to the following morning and the brothers are joined by Henry’s wife Laura and the children, but between them, the brothers can’t carry their father’s coffin alone, and Henry flags down a family leaving the property. Henry asks them to help, but Hap, the head of the family, doesn’t speak. Beside him, his wife Florence looks furious. Bearing in mind that this is the Jim Crow South in the 1940s, and the family are African American, the immediate tension between the two families hints at something terrible.

The film then goes back to 1939, where Henry’s wife Laura begins telling the story of how the family came to the Mississippi farm, her relationship with the brothers, and the arrival of their virulently racist father, Pappy. (He’s the worst. The worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrst.)

From there, the perspective shifts to Hap’s family, and the dynamics between the McAllens and the Jacksons is striking. Where the McAllens are tense and bicker a lot amongst themselves, all unhappy in their own way, the Jacksons are close and loving, working together despite how horribly their neighbours and society treats them. Hap’s son Ronsel is heading off to fight on the frontlines of WWII and the family are saving up to buy property of their own. There’s a sense of hope.

When he returns from WWII, however, Ronsel is disappointed with what he finds. Abroad, he had a relationship and he was treated as a hero. Back home, he finds that nothing in Mississippi has changed. What’s more, the arrival of the McAllens make the Jacksons worry, and tensions begin to mount when Pappy’s racism drives a wedge between the families.

Shortly there after, Jamie, also a WWII vet, moves in with the rest of his family. He quickly bonds with Ronsel, and both reminisce about how different things were abroad whilst struggling to cope their with PTSD and the racism of the society they find themselves in. Their growing friendship is judged problematic by bigots, and whenever Ronsel and Jamie spend time together, Ronsel is forced to hide from passing cars in case someone sees Jamie giving him a lift. It’s utterly heartbreaking and the sense of injustice carries throughout the film. Eventually, the tensions come to a head between the families, and things go from bad to worse.

Do be aware that Mudbound is really difficult to watch in places, very gritty, and there are numerous racist characters. Ronsel and Jamie were by far my favourite characters, but I adored Hap and Florence, too. Laura was a tough one, but I did really sympathise with her. Above all, this film is an important addition to historical movies and features a wonderful cast. The acting is top notch, the cinematography is gorgeous and the directing is fantastic. I definitely recommend watching it.

Films, Poems and Currently Reading Roundup and Review Post [02/06]

JONAS (2018) | lgbt+, french, drama

Jonas [aka I Am Jonas] is a gut-punching, haunting addition to lgbt+ films. The film follows the eponymous main character Jonas after he’s arrested on night out at a club, Boys. One of the police officers knows him from school and they reminisce for a little while in the back of the car. The film then begins flashing from the past to the present and we learn how Jonas ended up so angry and adrift. We see Jonas as a teenager meeting Nathan, a new boy in school. They quickly fall in love and, despite homophobic peers, start a relationship that’s kind, sweet and supported by Nathan’s mother, who also welcomes Jonas into her home.

Back in the present, Jonas follows a man around the city, keeping his distance until he goes into a hotel where the man works. They talk a little. The man doesn’t know him, but it’s clear Jonas knows the man. After setting off the smoke alarm in his room and getting kicked out, the pair start to talk in the lobby. When Jonas is invited to go drinking, he accepts, and we slowly start to learn more.

The story moves along with slow determination. There’s clearly some mystery to be unfolded. This is definitely a heavy kind of drama. Prepare for tears. I do recommend it, though. Félix Maritaud is an incredible actor and I really want to see him in more films! A very well done film over all.

Mr. Right (2015) | action, comedy, romance

Okay, I honestly really liked this one. It’s silly and over the top and implausible and ridiculously good fun, and it is totally worth a watch! The movie follows Martha (played by Anna Kendrick), a risk-seeking woman who’s allergic to good advice and wise decisions, and Francis (played by Sam Rockwell), a notorious killer for hire, apparently (?) and former spy, allegedly (?). Basically, you’re not sure what’s up with Francis for most of the movie, or whether he’s good or bad, but he’s clearly had a lot of training and is good at dancing and has enemies coming out of his ears. Oh, and he wears a clown nose. You’re just not told why for a good bit. You only know that he’s kind to Martha and completely honest with her. (She thinks he’s joking when he talks about his job and how he got his scar.)

I think what I liked so much about this one was how honest and straight to the point all the characters were. There was no side-stepping around topics or slow, predictable build up. It’s kind of like when you’re watching a movie about someone first learning about magic and they keep denying it and you’re like, c’mon, just believe in it already. This movie isn’t fantasy, it’s action, but it’s great that the characters just jump straight to the point.

Martha and Francis are clearly made for each other (and clearly on a frequency that no one in their lives finds normal), but they suit each other. And their chemistry is fantastic. If you like fun, romance and action, I recommend giving this one a shot!

POEMS POEMS POEMS (/◕ヮ◕)/ Seriously, why don’t I read poetry more often? I’ve read so many poems this weekend and I have missed poetry. *chef’s kiss* These poems are all from Uncanny Magazine Issue 21.

‘Found Discarded: A Love Poem, Questionably Addressed’ by Cassandra Khaw was absolutely breath-taking.

The Greeks believed
that a human being
is one entity unseamed at the spine,
opened at the breastbone, parted at
the lips, which is why we spend all our lives pressing
together at the hips, at the fingertips

RIGHT?! How lush. I’m in awe. Read it here.

‘The Fairies in the Crawlspace’ by Beth Cato is so dark and twisted and really, really well done. If you like Grimm’s faerie tales, this one is for you.

the fairies needed no web
to snare the girl

Read it here.

די ירושה by Sonya Taaffe is short and poignant. I really liked it!

History drops a hot potato in your hands,
tells you to walk uphill with it, both ways.

Read it here.

I also quite liked ‘The Sea Never Says It Loves You’ by Fran Wilde. Poems about the sea are some of my favourites.

But the water is warm and the salt spray tastes your lips
And you say yes.

Read it here.

I hope everyone has a lovely week. Stay safe out there, my friends.

Film Review: The Lovebirds (2020)

Oh my gosh, The Lovebirds is so funny. I haven’t laughed so hard at a film in a long time. It’s a simple enough story, following Jibran (played by Kumail Nanjiani) and Leilani (played by Issa Rae), a couple on the verge of breaking up. They can’t agree on anything and are fighting all the time. When a man takes their car, claiming to be a cop, he kills a biker and flees the scene, leaving Jibran and Leilani at the scene of the crime. A random pair tries to perform a citizens’ arrest, and fearing that they’ll be blamed, Jibran and Leilani also flee the scene.

The plot is simple enough, it’s just them trying to figure out what happened and getting into increasingly complicated and hilarious scenes. Anna Camp’s cameo was so funny. I’ve really missed her on my screen (True Blood shout out!), and she brought the comedy as ever. I have to say, though, Kumail Nanjiani definitely stole the show. I was laughing so hard at his jokes that I almost got a headache. I’m definitely going to be looking for more of his movies! SO. BLOODY. FUNNY. I’ve just learned he’s going to be in The Eternals with Richard Madden, who’s one of my favourite actors. COUNT. ME. IN.

It’s a fast paced comedy movie that’s a perfect escape for those in the mood for something light!